Who Are You Without Your Job Title?

Have you ever felt that your self-worth is tied entirely to your job title or professional achievements?

I certainly have, and a recent conversation with a friend made me reflect on how common this issue really is.

There was a time in my life when I felt this way. I couldn’t bring myself to quit my job as a consultant, even though I wanted to many times, because I believed my worth was tied to having that prestigious company name and title on my resume. Without those, it felt like there wasn’t anything else to show I was worthy. It seemed as if nothing outside of my professional life could validate my sense of self-worth.

Curious to see how widespread this issue is, I decided to research it online. I was surprised to discover just how big of a problem this is. There are hundreds of articles, books and publications discussing the connection between self-worth and professional achievements.

This got me thinking—where does this mindset come from, that our worthiness is primarily defined by our professional success? I traced it back to my childhood, and I suspect many of you can relate. Many of us grew up with parents who pushed us to achieve the highest grades, to be at the top of the class, to win math competitions, and when we didn’t reach those heights, it often felt like we were diminished in the eyes of our parents, teachers and even ourselves. 

This mentality that self-worth is tied to achievements starts early, from when we start school, then continuing through university and into our careers, where we seek the best-paid jobs and prestigious titles. It’s easy to see how we might confuse professional success with our self-worth.

But here’s the thing—no one taught me, either at school or at home (and I doubt many were taught this back in the day), that success and worthiness can be defined differently. It’s not about what you’ve achieved professionally, but about who you are as a human being—how good and generous you are; what type of values you exhibit; and how you interact with the community around you, whether as a parent, sibling, spouse, neighbor—and, yes, colleague, too.

Your professional achievements are important and a source of pride—as they should be. But it is essential to remember that our self-worth encompasses so much more. You haven’t become a better person because you got that promotion, and you haven’t become a worse person because you missed out on that promotion. Defining ourselves solely through our work makes us lead lesser lives, as we downgrade all of the other things we are—to ourselves and to others. It is also a significant source of stress, risk of burnout and an overall sense of unhappiness—something my friend admitted he was struggling with.

As my friend and I both learned, our worth isn’t defined by what we do, but by who we are.

So as we return from our summer vacations, let’s all take a moment to appreciate the unique qualities that make us who we are, beyond any job title.

You are you, and there is nobody else like you. And that is what truly should define your sense of self-worth.